Deign In Thy Grace
by BattleandRomance
Summary: The world is not for me, I am not someone of Grandeur and excellence as I was taught. I am a coward, a measly coward only out for himself.


I don't own Suikoden. My hero is called Terciel, my army Odephus and my ship Alixene

Deign In Thy Grace

The sea has picked apart my garments, hours in the salty water and harsh air has eroded the once pristine but simple fabric. Still I stand on deck, rigid and formal from years of etiquette lessons courtesy of my nobleman father.

I suppose I am a vain man. Since I can remember my head has been filled with dreams of grandeur and excellence. I had the finest clothes, the finest armor, finest teachers, food, drink, company I could go on. And I would have had it all were it not for a Vingerhut family trait.

Self Preservation

From escaping the encounter with Brandeau to surrendering to the Kooluk to being a pirate, after my short stint as commander of the knights all acts to keep myself alive and on top of the human body pile, on the winning side so those dreams of grandeur and excellence can be fulfilled.

I now how another term for my actions.

Cowardice.

I can't help but wince at the word, discarding my dreams and front and admitting I am a coward.

And a prideful one at that.

How many times did Terciel have the chance to lop off my head? Twice, thrice? And yet he didn't. He didn't. He asked my aboard the ship which I now stand when I would have preferred death yet he found mercy, each time I asked him to be done with it he let me live a little longer, let myself be broken down into the pitiful figure I now am, yet I cannot even single out a tiny pathetic excuse to blame him for this whole mess. He bears that terrible burden, a Punishment that I can't help but think I am more deserving of. He's going to die, horribly if the stories of Brandeau and what I saw of Commander Glen are true but he is so much more deserving of life than I am.

When the shifts swap over I go back to the small cabin I share with my opposite number on the night watch, so I pretty much never see him. On my hammock are a set of freshly pressed clothing that when I unfold are the garments I discarded when I was stranded near Iluya. They seem so much more comforting than the salt starched fabric which covers my skin at this time.

I decided to change before my next watch, but sleep in my current clothes as not to crease the fresh garments.

As I go for breakfast prior to my duties I feel a bit better bearing my dredged up clothes. I don't feel as much as an outcast, despite being on a cramped war ship everyone always was reasonably clean in fairly well maintained clothes.

I clamber up and down the rigging for most of the morning to the instruction of Jango and Nico before I am called by Desmond; Terciel is going landside and has requested my company. I nod calmly and follow him to deck two. Nico nods at this, orders are relayed and my tasks split up between the other deck hands. That's what I am, a deck hand, a measly, lowly deck hand. Terciel then takes me to Adrienne where my weapon is sharpened considerably then I am outfitted with improved armor and equipment, quite a step from the leather pieces I am used to. I am considerably weaker than him and his two companions, the silent Ted and the near insufferable Viki but am assured I will soon catch up.

The second we touch down at Obel Terciel makes a beeline for the item store and promptly hawks all of the now useless equipment, a sunbeam orb and several pieces of Maestro Graffiti, hauled from the deep and other assorted antique artwork and vases.

He leads us as only a leader can into and through the Obel Ruins, a route he has traveled many times and confidently into an encounter with the local punch bag, Golem. Not the giant stone one at the very end of the path,but still quite tough.The runes that he (Terciel)and Ted bore seemed to create at different atmosphere when used compared to the Lightening Viki attacks with. As a result I recalled excerpts from lessons I thought I had long forgot came back. True runes their hands bore scarred into the calloused palm skin through to the smooth topside. I cannot understand what it all means although I think I saw a sketch of Ted in an old book from history classes but discard the notion as a silly coincidence and my mind playing tricks.

After all the book was written a century and a half ago give or take a few years. Keneth has on more than one occasion told me recently that some things are way beyond my comprehension and I shouldn't try to understand them. To be honest I'm not really interested.

I have been assigned the prosperity rune for now. Battle magic isn't my forte and I am glad I do not have to grapple with elements and spells for now. Although I now understand why he uses this particular rune along with that Noah person. It's how he affords all the necessary outgoing of his and the warriors.

After the battle I learn a new combination attack between myself and Terciel: True Friendship a much more balanced move compared to the brazen single strike I formally performed in our old combination after a series of balletic strikes from Terciel, one of the few terms I have for his fighting style. This, true friendship is a testament to our bond I callously discarded for glory at my own pre and misconceptions.

The world is not for me, I am not someone of Grandeur and excellence as I was taught. I am a coward, only out for himself.

How things were so much simpler when we were trainees, sure life was servitude and battling but you were pointed in a direction and told what needed doing. Now I am lost. A child in the deep, blue unforgiving sea.

Knight, Commander, Traitor, Grass, Pirate, Coward, Peasant, Deck hand, me

Deign In Thy Grace, for this is who I am.


End file.
